Revelations & Realizations

Maybe it's because I am tired (exhausted really) and sore, but today was a day of realizations and revelations, many of them hitting close to home.
The first realization is  that things are likely to get worse before they get better and I am not looking forward to that.  Hopefully winter ends soon.
The second realization was that I probably shouldn't have broked down and got those extras this weekend like the sweater and sleeping bag and headset to phone from my computer because i am likely  going to run out of cash before I run out of days before payday.  Oh well, I could stand to loose a few more pounds.
Realization number three - not much use in going to the doctors when I can't even feed myself properly or get proper shelter.  Pain is just going to have to be a companion for now, but then it has been for a while so what's new.
On the good side, I realize that people from my home area of Sundre are realizing who I am (Cantankerous, as appropriate as it is, is not my real name).  At least one of them has emailed me to say they would contact my wife about the horse situation.  Personally, at this point, I wouldn't care if everybody in the area sent her an email or talked to her.  Maybe at some point it would hit that the horse thing is a problem that needs to be dealt with.
Unfortunately this leads me to my last realization, that I will probably never get to spend any quality time with my wife and children again (since I was only a step parent). I am alone.