Day 5 - God I hurt. A six foot body can not sleep comfortably in a four foot wide car. And the cold doesn't help. Not that it was really cold last night but I think I am going to have to invest some money in some blankets or sleeping bag.
Aside from the pain, being in the big city on a Friday night revealed something to me about my own life. Everyone one I saw last night seemed to be with someone else - with friends.
Now I have never been a socialite by any stretch of the imagaination. Everything I did was with people I work with or my wife and family. It is not that we have not had friends over the past six years but unfortunately almost every single one has been alienated because of our horses. If we don't owe them money for pasture than we have placed demands on them to help move horses.
It may sound like I hate horses - I don't. I absolutely love horses. My dream has always been to have a sprawling horse ranch. That has not changed but it has to be done right. What I do hate - what I am bitter about is being placed second to a bunch of horses.
I did send off an email yesterday to my wife just checking in to make sure she was okay. I know she has a no-contact order but I was worried about her and the kids. She never did respond.
No work to go to today, no workplace to go to today (I hung out there on my days off this week). That leaves me alone with nothing to do. Just me and my thoughts. Not to sure that's a good thing as my thoughts are not good. I actually broke down talking to some stranger in a coffee shop yesterday. Just can't seem to hold it together. Probably better that I don't have friends because I am sure they would just get tired of hearning all my problems right now. Besides if nobody knows you than nobody misses you.
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