After receiving your comment that described my wife as a Animal Hoarder I laughed (because I have told her on occasion she is the cat lady of horses), and then I used my all to availalble time to do some research. While I am not a shrink I think you may unfortunately be right.
I found a list of animal hoarder characteristics at AnimalSheltering.org. They were the following;
- An apparent need to have many animals, and usually many inanimate objects as well (an addiction to clutter).
- Intelligence and communication skills, combined with a shrewd ability to attract sympathy for themselves, no matter how abused their animals may be.
- A stubborn refusal to part with any of their animals, be it through adoption of relatively healthy ones or euthanasia of sick ones (sometimes they even keep the dead animals).
- A clandestine lifestyle—there is often a stark contrast between the hoarder's public persona and his/her private life.
- A tendency to deny reality—they insist that ill animals are healthy; that those confined for long periods in small cages or kennels are comfortable; that overcrowding does not subject animals to severe stress and related diseases; etc.
- Recidivism—unless expert psychiatric help is obtained, hoarders almost invariably return to old ways, even if convicted of cruelty to animals.
In my own opinion, which is obviously biased, I think this describes her to a T. The unfortunate thing is she is absolutely incredible in her skills of communicating and working with horses (there are none better in my opionion). Even more unfortunate is that I don't think there is anyone on earth that could convince her to even consider she may have this problem (at least not ending up bruised and beaten). I wish I knew what I could do to help her. I don't expect (or even desire) that it would do something to save our relationship, I just want to make sure her and her kids don't suffer because of it.
Speaking from experience Old Man, you are screwed. Animal hoarders do not recognize the problem in themselves, there are no resources to actively intervene (except the SPCA who quite honestly treat people involved like crap therefore never realling helping the problem), and the banks and creditors will be the only ones looking to talk to you. Give it up. You are better off without her. Not worth grieving over. Let her suffer with her own problem. She has made enough for you already.
ReplyDeleteYou might be able to help by posting her name and maybe contact info. I live in Bergen and think I know who it is and have wrote her to get help. Maybe if others do the same she will recognize she has a problem.
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