I Don't Exist

I'm Back

Well it has been a taken a few days for me to gather my emotions and thoughts after that fraudulent email I received. It was a true emotional crash for me and the unfortunate thing is whoever fraudulently wrote that email was not just screwing with me, but my ex as well.

In hindsight, this person did me a favour as they revealed some truths to me that I wasn't aware of, or hadn't wanted to see.

Truth #1 – there is no chance for reconciliation between my ex and I. She is using her no contact order to live her life like I never existed and don't exist. No regrets about what she did or how she did it. In fact she has found solace in the arms of others already while she eliminates me from the her life and my children's.

Truth #2 – She is selling horses, or at least a horse – my horse so she can feed her other 30 or so horses.

Truth #3 – She would welcome me falling of the face of the earth so she didn't have to deal with me ever again.

Now this may seem like rumour being spread and just anger and bitterness talking, and it is indeed anger and bitterness, but it is unfortunately not rumour. I wish it was but it was put to me quite directly so I could not be confused about it. I can't help but think that I was living a life of delusion thinking that she ever cared about me, or about anybody but herself.

That being said, I have had a multitude of email from readers and those that know me asking me to not stop with my blog and offering their support. I appreciated all the support and encouragement and I will continue this blog, though I am going to change it up some. I will continue advocating for help for people with animal hoarding issues and for help for homeless people stuck in a loop as I am. I will keep readers updated about my life and situations I encounter, and about the results of the charges against my ex and her horse situation, at least the part I am made aware of. I won't keep whining here about my ex because it is useless to waste energy on someone who doesn't even acknowledge your existence.

I have also added a new blog. It's nothing like this blog. Free form poetry and writing about me feelings. Nothing educational, Nothing that is going to help anyone but me as I write it but I hope you get some pleasure out of reading it http://whitheringheart.blogspot.com/ Please add your comments and feedback to that blog as well.

Thanks again for all your support. I look forward to a long relationship with all my readers to who I do exist.