The Car Has Got To Go

Well I knew it was coming, just hoped it would wait a few more weeks, but the car has to go back to the wife. I can't make the payments on it and continue to keep living in it with my current income. Truth is I had wanted to leave it at the house to start with because I didn't want to leave my wife and children without the car (though she does have a truck she had just convinced me to by before all this crap went down). It was only by the grace of God that I couldn't drop the car back off that first night. Had I, I would have found myself completely on the streets. Don't know how she intends to pay for it either with all the horse expenses, lawyers bills, SPCA fines, and feed and pasture bills run up, but I guess that is not my problem anymore. I would say sell some horses but just typing it I can feel a beating coming on. That was meant to sound amusing but it really is the feeling I have.

Anyway I did a little car shopping yesterday. I can afford a car payment, just not this particular car payment. I found a few options yesterday. Options that seemed like they would be dependable (which seems even more important when you are living in your car) and amusingly enough, looked like they may be more comfortable to sleep in. Never expected that to be one of my shopping guidelines for a car!

Now is where the catch 22 comes in. I have wrote about the first part of the catch 22 - make enough money for food and warmth in the car, but not enough to set any aside for damage deposit and first months rent which would lower my expenses long term (there is no such thing as inexpensive food if you can't cook it yourself).

That is challenging enough. Having to send the car back to the ex at this point only makes it more complicated.

1. Need car for shelter, to continue current job, and travel for additional job (which I hope comes soon).
2. Sufficient income for car payment - no fixed address or phone, don't qualify for loan. (BTW I have asked others to ask my wife for my phone to be mailed to me - let's hope she does).
3. Need to get a more permanent housing solution - need additional income to set money aside.
4. Return to step 1.

Am I missing something hear? I don't want to borrow money from friends or family because at this point I don't know when or if I can pay them back. Friendship is more important to me at this point then money (I suppose it always should be) and I am not prepared to sacrifice friends over bad debts. Besides that, the situation I am coming out of was caused partially by the stresses of the huge debt being run up for things we couldn't afford. I don't want to go there again. Starting over is one thing. Starting over by having to dig myself out of a deep hole to start with just doesn't seem smart or healthy.

Is my thinking wrong ? Am I missing something? Is there another solution that isn't going to take me away from a good job I really enjoy?

It has never been so clear for me just how easily and how quickly things can spiral out of control for a person, anybody, to go from a comfortable home life to be jobless and on the street. It is like a whirlpool sucking down to the bottom of the ocean and collapsing in over top of you.

At this point I really am looking for constructive input from my readers. Please comment with your input. I really do need some help thinking this through. I look forward to hearing from all of you.