Putting A Shine On It.

   I took the opportunity today to give my bike some TLC. My many rides have resulted in much road grime and bugs forming a thick layer over the thing of beauty that lies underneath. For those of you that think a motorcycle is a 10 minute cleaning job, think again.

   First you have to remove that thick layer of bug debris that has become a hardened crust on the front of the bike. Then you need to wash and rinse the bike to remove all the other dirt. Then, if you are perhaps a little bit anal about the shine on your bike to do another round of cleaning using clay and lubricant to get that last layer of dirt and bring out the natural shine in your paint. After that comes the chrome polish and the wax. None of this is quick and easy as the many nooks and crannys are difficult to get at. And I haven't even touched the leather yet. Patience is indeed a virtue when it comes to cleaning and polishing a motorcycle but it is a virtue that I need much training in anyways.

   As I spent this time I noticed every little scratch in the paint, every spot the chrome has pitted and rust is taking its death grip, every dent the hail has left, every flaw. To anyone else that looks at my bike, especially after it has been cleaned up, it is a truly beautiful machine. All that polish and wax gives it an appearance of near perfection. But the truth is underneath that polish is something that needs a lot more TLC.

   What does the condition of my bike have to with anything other than my obvious anal fixation on the condition of my bike. Probably nothing, but it occurred to me as I caressed the wax into the curves of my bike just how similar this was to how I presented my life to others. I put on a polish of sorts, covering up the scratches and damage that lied underneath, eating away at the foundation. What others saw was what I wanted them to see, not the reality of the situation. Of course it makes it all the more easy to conceal the problems you are living through when most of society prefers to look at the world through rose coloured stain glass windows, never wanting to see the “bad” stuff.

   As I try to understand this journey I am on it leads me to stories of others in similar situations. Family and friends of people who are hoarding horses, cats, or any of a variety of animals. Men and women who are being assaulted by their spouses and are in deep in domestic abuse situations. In all these cases the people involved step out into the world with a polish on them that covers the sad, disturbing realities they are trying to live through. Unfortunately this only allows the problems to persist, and often even become worse because of its concealment, but when you are on the inside you don't always see this.

   But how many of do this same thing in our daily lives. We find ourselves with a choice to make that involves accepting something we don't really like to get something we really do like and rather than acknowledging there are problems we put a polish on them, a shine that covers the reality of the situation. Sure, life is about compromises, but a compromise isn't really a compromise if you just pretend everything is okay. No amount of spit & shine can erase the reality of a situation and acknowledging that reality is often the only real path to success.

   As for my motorbike, I do acknowledge the scratches and dings that the wax conceals, but she has earned everyone of those "worry lines" as she carries me through this journey.

Healing & Motivation

"We quiet our babies with cyclic movement, and we quiet ourselves by going."
Melissa Holbrook Pierson understood the not only the romance of riding a motorcycle, but the healing affects the motion of riding one of these incredible machines has on the human body and the human soul. She wrote about this in her book The Perfect Vehicle, another excellent book for motorcycle enthusiasts, and for those just curious about what it is all about.
My time in the seat of my bike has been personally healing and restorative in many ways. The time with myself, within myself, while interacting and observing the world around me is something I missed and and think we all miss in our daily lives (which is why I object to radios on motorcycles and blue tooth devices in helmets. Drive a car if you want to close yourself off from the world and from your own thoughts.) That being said, healing takes time, and the weather hasn't exactly co-operated with time in the saddle, nor have the requirements of everyday living, but of course part of the reason to work on that healing is to gain back the joys that can be found in everyday living.
I am finding that I can see myself in some of the words of Neil Peart in Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road when he states “What I really lack is some of my former power of enthusiasm, of getting fired up about doing a particular thing, or learning about it, so that it became more important than anything else in the whole world.” There was a time when I had an interest in something I would dedicate myself to learning every last aspect of that particular subject. This was not always conducive to my relationships as I could easily loose myself in my interests, but it always kept me moving forward instead of just being along for the ride.
That enthusiasm is returning though. I find myself studying my crafts again. My blacksmithing. My writing. My art. My wood working. I am really looking forward to finalizing the designs of some blacksmithing work I will soon be starting for one of the big churches in downtown Calgary. When I ride my bike I follow the front wheel, and for a while that direction was rather aimless, without any real destination in mind, often in big circles. As my mindset changed the direction of that front wheel changed. There still may have been no specific destination in mind but there was a direction, and as I have often been told, it it not the destination that matters, but the journey to get there. This is how I am finding life these days. I may not have a specific destination in mind, but I am choosing the direction now, and experiencing the journey on the way.
I find there is something else grabbing my interest, and that is the possibility of restoring an old bike or building one from scratch. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely love my current ride, an 04 Yamaha Roadstar, and I won't give this bike up for anything. There is an art and craft in some of the old bikes that isn't reflected in most of today's all electronic monstrosities. There are personal touches that can go in a creation of your own that you just can't expect others to take the time to add in something they are not building for themselves. I often find myself dropping in on the Helmet Hair Motorcycle Blog and in a couple or recent posts like the one about Shinya Kimura and the dying craft of restoring motorcycles I see that I am not the only person who feels like this.
Just how creative can someone get with a motorcycle. Well check out this bike created from scrap by Bangkok-based artist Roongronjna Sangwonprisarn.

If you are out riding your bike on this long week-end stay safe. Keep the shiny side up. Highways are deadly places on long weekends and all too often our brothers on wheels are the victims.

Documenting Homelessness

More rain is translating into more reading for me. Among my reading is the Calgary Herald and I found an article entitled “Blogger on tour to document homelessness” interesting. According to this article the Canadian leg of a tour by Mark Horvath, a blogger and vieographer who is trying to raise awareness about homelessness, is being co-ordinated by the  Calgary Homeless Foundation   Calgary Homeless Foundation in partnership with the Community Action Committee.

This article was interesting to me because, however short it was, I did spend some time homeless in the middle of a Calgary winter, which is documented in the early versions of this blog. I looked at Mark Horvath's website, invisiblepeople.tv and found some interesting pieces. It is unfortunately not surprising to me just how little it takes for good people to go from having a roof over their head to living in the streets or in their car, with no place to call home.

As I looked more into this newspaper story I ended up at the Calgary Homeless Foundation website and the websites of other groups and organizations who are working on Homelessness in Calgary and other areas. All of these groups do go work I am sure, but I can't help but wonder if on some level the cart isn't being put before the horse. Why do I have this criticism? Well it just seems to me that if someone like me, who is quite skilled in finding information and had access to the resources to find this information, was not able to find programs that would help get someone of the street in the middle of winter (see my early blog posts), than how are others finding that information and help. Does there need to be more effort put into getting the information out to the right people rather than documenting the plight of the homeless?

There are many homeless people that are homeless, not because of drug, alcohol, addictions, or mental problems, but simply because some situation resulted in them being out of their home and, despite currently working, they just can not get ahead enough to get another roof over their head for themselves, and in some cases their family as well. I have heard many question how someone who is working without the expenses of housing can't set aside money. The simple fact is that living on the streets, especially during the winter months, can be just as expensive if not more so than living in a home. Without the ability to store and prepare food meals cost more. In foul and inclement weather, when shelters are filled, finding a place to keep dry and warm costs money. A daily income becomes a daily support structure, which means setting aside the money needed to get back into a home is next to impossible.

I don't know if there is a program like this in Calgary, or Alberta, but a simple, easily accessible loan program (low interest or no interest) that can provide the damage deposit and first months rent, to working homeless would probably go a long way to help many get off the streets.

Equine Hoarding Update - What The Courts Had To Say

Someone kindly passed on a newspaper article to me that let me know what happened with the charges Tammy Thompson faced for causing animals to be in distress. The article from the Mountain View Gazette on June 28^th stated Ms. Thompson pleaded guilty and was fined $1000 and prohibited from owning more than 10 horses during the next five years.

To some that may seem like a solution, but in reality it is little more than a speeding ticket on the road to more disaster. The sad fact is “owning” horses just means they can't be directly owned by her. There is nothing stopping her from transferring ownership of the horses to a family or friend, but still keeping the horses. At the time of her assault charges she disappeared with close to 30 horses which means now there are at least 20 in limbo somewhere. Nor does this judgement prevent her from taking in other horses into her care.

What the newspaper article doesn't reveal is that, despite the financial problems which she admitted to in court, she continued to add horses to her herd and refused to sell or get rid of any despite the obvious problems for both her family and the horses.

I know that are court system is overloaded and they try in most cases to come up with an appropriate solution, but I believe in animal cases such as this I believe there should at minimum, be counselling programs involved in the sentence and specific monitoring procedures in place to ensure the problem is not reoccurring. Tammy Thompson got charged with assaulting her spouse and they sent her to counselling and anger management programs as part of her sentence. Why could they not do the same thing for her problem with animals?

Sadly Ms. Thompson's case is not the only case like this. All to often we are seeing people back in courts on charges because they have repeated the same behaviour that put their animals in distress the first time. We, as a society, need to come up with a better solution to dealing with these animal hoarding and abuse problems and encourage our politicians and courts to put these solutions in place for the benefit of the animals and the people involved.

Into Each Life A Little Rain Must Fall.

They say that into each life a little rain must fall, but come on now!!!! I am ready to trade in my bike for a canoe. Not that I am a fair weather biker by any stretch of the imagination. I have ridden in just about all extremes, rain, heavy rain, heavy, heavy rain, hail, snow, high winds. I have enjoyed them all with the exception of the hail. Ouch!!! For me and my bike. I have also canoed in all of this weather and enjoyed it as well. Riding a motorbike and canoeing are remarkably similar. The solitude, the freedom, the unique exposure and interaction with the elements and world around you.

One thing this weather has done for me has provided a chance for me to read a little more. In one of those random meetings with people you wouldn't otherwise ever meet unless you ride a bike I was told about a book by Neil Peart, the drummer from the Rush (an absolutely fantastic band). The book is called Ghost Rider: Travels on the Healing Road, and tells the story of how Neil, after the death of his daughter in an accident and loosing his wife to cancer shortly thereafter, heads out on his motorbike on a journey of self healing. When I was told about the book I knew this was something I could relate to and thanks to Amazon.com the book was in my hands in two short days and it is fantastic. Even if you are not a biker you will love this book.

After the death of his daughter Neil relates the story of a television documentary on the Mormon trek west in 1847, the ordeals they went through and the hardships they faced. The words of one of the women in the documentary struck home to Neil Pert. “The only reason I am alive is that I could not die.” This is where this author found himself at that period of his life. This is exactly where I found myself after loosing my family and everything that had real meaning to me. After reading these words I knew I was going to enjoy this book and haven't put it down since.

In Neil’s own journal he wrote these words:

“Notice in the 'watches of the night' or while riding (or anytime), pattern of torment. Not only have to relive and examine every episode of life with Jackie and Selena, but every single episode of my own life.  embarrassment, act of foolishness, wrong-headedness, error, idiocy etc. Going back to childhood and all the way forward to now.

I physically flinch, say 'ow' out loud, or 'fuck,' as the case may be, and can hardly bear it. Such stupid things sometimes, but it seems my confidence, or belief in myself, or something, is so shaken, so undermined, so tenuous, that I have no tolerance, no understanding, no forgiveness: for myself or any one else.

No forgiveness...”

I still find myself in this mindset. I know exactly how those thoughts go. The physical flinches. The curses, silently and out loud. The destruction of my foundation that has left me so lacking in confidence and belief in myself that I can not find any tolerance, understanding, or forgiveness for anyone, myself included. I can only hope that this journey allows me to rebuild that foundation.

Animal Hoarding Rears Its Ugly Head Again.

I have stayed away from this subject for a while, mostly because rehashing it is a painful experience for me, but recent news stories about the return of animals that were seized because of poor care and poor conditions has brought the subject to the forefront of my thoughts again.

Granted I do not know all of the details of this specific situation. What I do know is limited to what has been released in the media, and I do not delude myself that this coverage is even close to being balanced. That being said, there is not a doubt in my mind that the people that owned these animals that were seized never intended anything but the best for these animals. I know that there are many readers who will rail against this statement, asking how it is someone could care so much for animals yet let them die, starve, get sick, and live in horrible conditions. If you are relatively new to this blog please understand that I don't support this behaviour, but I do have a perspective that many individuals do not.

People, for the most part, do not own livestock because they want to be cruel to it. They own livestock because they have a love for the animals. It is easy to justify building up a large herd of animals justifying not reducing the herd size because prices aren't right or they are good for breeding stock, or any of dozens of other reasons. I herd all of these excuses from my partner as our horse herd grew out of control.

It is also easy for these people to draw friends and family into their beliefs, not because these people are so influential, but because they so strongly believe their l line of thought that they find ways to convince those around them of the same. Those they can't convince they simply erase from their lives. In my situation friends, family, and neighbours were all alienated.

Despite the good intentions towards the animals in their care problems inevitably arise. The animals reproduce creating more mouths to feed. Feed costs money. Lot's of money. Health care costs money. Shelter costs money. Unless they win the lottery something has to give. The unfortunate thing is these individuals believe so strongly they are doing the right thing that they will beg, borrow, and steal to just hold on a little while longer. They would rather take a chance on loosing their car, or their home, or more just to hang on to their animals. Meanwhile they justify in their own minds the decreasing level of care their animals are receiving and the decreasing condition of their animals.

In some of these cases, but not all of them, the SPCA steps in and seizes animals. I don't always agree with the methods used by the SPCA but the fact is they have a miserable, and often impossible job to do and you can be guaranteed that the people on the receiving end of their actions are usually far from cooperative. When it happened to us I was sure that had I not been there my spouse would have assaulted the officer. The sad fact is, when I tried to rectify the situation at a later date I was the one violently assaulted.

The part of these cases that is even more difficult to understand is that the individuals the animals are seized from have a chance to get these animals back. Yes there are conditions that they need to meet, and in the short term most do meet those conditions and somehow come up with the funds required to get their animals back. This is my understanding of what is happening in the cause currently going on in Alberta, and I think this is why I find this topic occupying my thoughts again.

The unfortunate part of this is that all too often things get bad again, often sooner than later, but the people involved find ways to conceal it from everyone. In my case my spouse found ways to split up her herd and locations where the animals could not be found. She had told me before assaulting me and leaving me living in the streets that her own lawyer had told her she could transfer ownership of the horses to a friend for a buck so the SPCA could not go after her for having the animals (though how she could sell or transfer horses branded with a co-owned brand without my permission is beyond me.) In the end all of the horses “disappeared” and where the SPCA's court case against ended up I have no idea.

Is this what will happen with the animals being returned to the ranch near Drumheller? I do not know. I would only be guessing at the answer to that question. I do think that if you look at the stories and histories of people who hoard animals the story is often the same as mine. Animals lives are destroyed. Families are destroyed. People are devastated. All this horror and sorrow based on good intentions.

What can we do about it? Sadly nothing.

Trust me. Unless an animal hoarder makes the decision to seek help themselves there is absolutely nothing we can do to help them. My horses disappeared with my spouse after she was charged with assault. I expect she is somewhere with her herd of curly horses to(and whatever other horses she has acquired) and most likely in the same situation she was in before, animals suffering, bills piling up, lives falling apart. The difference now is she just knows how to hide it better.

We need to find a way to empower those charged with the responsibility to take the actions needed in these situations. We need to find a way to help those who need the help. We need to be a real friend and point out the problem to people creating these situations, not find ways to support them or justify what they are doing.

I sincerely hope that my reality (and the reality of many others who have found themselves in similar circumstances) does not become the reality of the animals being returned to Drumheller. I wish the ranch owners nothing but luck with their enterprise, but please, please, encourage and listen to advice from others around you and don't let lives, animals and yours, be destroyed by your love for your animals.

Who Can You Depend On?

I tend to leave my motorbike parked on long weekends. You would think that a long weekend would be a perfect time to pickup and go but the volume of traffic on the roads as everyone heads to their great escape is just an accident waiting to happen. I have heard at least one report of a motorcyclist dieing on the highway, the driver of the car apparently never saw them. News reports say that more than 3000 tickets were issued this weekend, 2200 of them for speeding. In total there were 2 fatalities. Now even one fatality is too much but only 2 over a July 1^st long weekend is not bad. Still, I am not disappointed that I didn't hit the highways, though even if I had wanted to I couldn't thanks to some teen rebels who enjoyed July 1^st a little too much, but that is a topic for another day (and I needed some new skins for the bike anyway).

As motorcyclists it is ( or it should have been) drummed into us from day 1 that the only person we can depend on on that road is ourselves. Car drivers don't look for us, and therefore don't see us. Pedestrians think we are all Evil Knievel (okay, my age is showing), and that we can manoeuvre our bikes around their stupid actions no matter what. Barely a day of riding goes by for me that this is not re-enforced and I think may explain on some level why many bikers have a somewhat limited, but expressive vocabulary.

I only wish that I had applied my motorbike driver training to my life because when it gets right down to it, the only person we can depend on in life, just as in motorbike riding, is ourselves. We can not count on those around us to know what we are doing and where we are going, or even how fast we want to get there. Even if they do know our path there is absolutely nothing stopping them from throwing themselves in your way. We quite simply have no control over the choices of others or how they choose to influence our lives. All we have control of is our own choices. We can plan ahead, be vigilante in watching for those that will throw obstacles in our paths and try and anticipate their actions, and prepare as best we can, but inevitably the accident will come.

Those are my thoughts from the road today. Keep the shiny side up and don't depend on anyone but yourself - on the highway or in life.

Take a moment and check out our new link to Akasha Forge & Foundry.